Anxiety in the System

Over the last decade many clergy in the Episcopal Church have received training in conflict management and family systems theory. Conflict management is easy enough to understand but family systems theory is a bit more complex. In family systems theory one tries to understand the complex social interactions that happen in communities. For clergy, the hope is that by understanding these complex relationships one can manage conflict, help people relate better to one another, create positive change, and focus the group’s attention on the mission and work of the church.

However, knowing a good bit about conflict management and family systems theory has also given me a very interesting lens through which to see all of the conflict we have in the very large system of our country.  I know so many of us were once again devastated to hear about another act of mass violence, this time in the city of Las Vegas. It seems some horrible natural disaster or violent act is happening just about every week.

For those of us who know family systems theory, we know that all of this constant concern over the dangers of our world creates a great deal of anxiety. This anxiety then becomes present, not only in the system of the United States, but even within our own families and also in the system we know as St. Michael’s. The net result of all this tension in our world can have many different effects. This anxiety can cause people to be irritable, to withdraw, to become defensive, argumentative, and a whole host of other negative things. We then tend to project these attitudes (sometimes unknowingly) into our various relationships causing damage and thus increasing our anxiety.

One of the antidotes we have to all this stress in our lives is to be intentional about taking time for prayer, meditation, and worship. All three of those activities have been proven by many studies to lower anxiety and help us to become healthier people. Unfortunately, instead of doing those things, we often choose the flight or fight response by trying to fight or run from the cause of our stress instead of going quietly to God in prayer and seeking his love, peace, and guidance.

If this sounds all too familiar then I would invite you, in these turbulent times, to shuffle priorities around in your life and make time for regular worship, prayer, and simply being still with God in whatever way feeds your soul. As you experience the difference this makes in your life, I would also invite you to share this with the people around you so they can also experience an increased sense of God’s love and peace. For it is only by engaging and then spreading the source of light and love that we can truly lower the anxiety of our all our systems. In doing so, we help our world to be a safer, healthier, and more loving place to live.